http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ FingerFreak Forums: Recent Posts en Fri, 10 Sep 2010 12:42:35 +0000 http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=42#post-241 Sat, 04 Sep 2010 11:47:50 +0000 raeanne 241@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>the earliest recollection i have of picking is kindergarten, i'm 25 now. i remember as a kid having to tell teachers i had a "paper cut" that was bleeding and had to go to the nurse for bandaids and they would look at my fingers clearly recognizing they weren't paper cuts. i used to be alot worse as a kid. i bit my finger nails, the skin around them to a pulp, and all the fingers too. when i got to be about 17 i was able to actually stop biting my nails, however as a result, the skin around my fingers took the blunt of what the nails didn't so i would have and still have to this day, beautiful nails, but the skin around them is awful. when i was 19 i got veneers put on my front teeth to make them whiter etc. well having them you can't BITE because you can snap one off. so, i resorted to picking entirely. then i decided in college to become a nurse. well in nursing you can't have visible open skin so instead of picking the sides, i would pick the back of my fingers like where my thumb print is so no one could see it. at this point, i am currently "down to" my thumbs and forefingers mostly with occasionally middle fingers as well. as weird as it sounds, i also enjoy scab picking, zit popping and picking calluses on my feet. i also pick my lip as well. i have been diagnosed with OCD in the past, however my thoughts were the priority of my therapists so the fingers have taken a backseat. i have tried everything. gloves, liquid bandage, avoidance, you name it i have tried it. my husband hates it. my parents would see it as a kid but didn't ever say outloud hey that looks like it hurts whats going on? i want to have kids in the next few years and i DONT want them to develop this habit. its awful, i hate it but i can't not pick. its like engrained in me now. and when i don't do it i feel like my skin is crawling and i'm ready to scream. i am on medicine and like i said, i've come a long way but i just can't seem to shake it. out of my family members, my mom and sister are both avid nail biters, now my sister tells me that since she's trying to stop biting her nails, now she's picking. i don't know. if i let my fingers heal, the skin gets dry and flakes and its like a temptation and then i start all over again. it never ends. </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=42#post-240 Thu, 26 Aug 2010 00:32:12 +0000 haiparu 240@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Dear OMJ and D,</p> <p>&gt;&gt;&gt; found out that one of my friends had been cutting and biting at his skin due to depression and stress. It really bothered me, but I felt bad saying anything about it because I didn't want to sound like a hypocrite (sometimes the pain actually feels good to me, though I tend to feel guilty and try to cover it up when they start bleeding). I feel terrible, and I almost started crying when I found this site. I'm not even sure why. </p> <p>Thanks for posting. I almost cried several times, too -- finding and reading and posting to this site. Do you think your friend might find it comforting to know they have a friend like you, who really understands what they are going through? </p> <p>Posted my story earlier, but can update. I'm 62 and didn't stop picking fingers until 4+ months ago, after a lifetime of not being able to quit for more than a day or two. At about the same time I found this site - which event was very emotional and moving - I found a free downloadable book that provided just what I needed to quit. At least so far, and I can always go back and do more from the book if I need to. It's called "Skin Deep," by Dr. Ted A. Grossbart. He also has a blog on the Psychology Today web site. </p> <p>I found ideas here, including about moisturizers. I had to pay total attention to Not picking for several days, while also noting each stressor that was going on when I felt the urge to pick. Btw, for people who pick when bored, the same method could work, to become aware and handle boredom instead of picking? I used some writing exercises from the book, and a relaxation/healing CD to go thru each troubling situation that was affecting me. Now I catch myself rubbing and looking for something to pick, and can stop before damage is done. </p> <p>Another help used to be soaking fingers in water (or green tea when no one was looking! Could slip a thumb over the cup rim and get a good soaking...) It softened the edges of picked areas and seemed soothing. I feel this could help before getting that engagement ring, too, D.<br /> : ) Because soaking can change how things look, even if it's just temporary till skin grows back nicely.</p> <p>Good luck as school starts up -- you'll have lots to keep you busy, that's for sure. </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=42#post-239 Tue, 24 Aug 2010 19:08:46 +0000 djackm 239@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Great post idea. I've been picking for about 10 years; I'll be turning 20 in December. I'm a college senior &#38; I tend to pick more when I'm stressed, bored, anxious, or thinking deeply. First days of the semester are heavy picking days, because of all the excitement. It's most unfortunate that the times when I want my hands to look the best (i.e. when meeting, and, therefore, shaking hands with new professors/classmates) is when I pick the most and, consequently, they look the worst. I say 'pick,' though that's a bit of a euphemism. By that I mean, bite, peel, tear, and gnaw...Pretty uncomfortable, sometimes painful, always embarrassing. </p> <p>I think that my boyfriend intends to propose to me next weekend...I'm excited &#38; I'm anxious for my fingers to heal so that, when the time comes (even if it's not next weekend), I can proudly show off my engagement ring...but excitement and anxiety are exactly the right ingredients to make me want to pick...Honestly, I'm a bit discouraged about this situation today. Optimism will return! Always nice to read everyone's posts. Off to class!</p> <p>D </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=42#post-238 Tue, 24 Aug 2010 15:15:56 +0000 ohmyjoss 238@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>I don't remember when I first started picking at my fingers, but it's a problem that my mother also has. When I was little, I used to try to bargain with her that I would stop sucking my thumb if she would stop picking at her fingers! Now I feel really stupid because I do it, too, possibly even more than she does. I'm in high school now, and I'm figuring that it's probably stress-related, because my fingers are noticeably better during summer break (though this year I was still so stressed out from school during the first few weeks of summer that my fingers were a mess until mid-July). Anyway, school is starting up again soon, and so is my habit. Not only am I picking at my fingers, I'm also picking at the skin on my face and arms, which are covered in bumps I can't seem to get rid of from dry skin.<br /> One of my friends really wants me to stop picking at my fingers and bothers me about it a lot, but she doesn't seem to understand that it's not something I want to do. I regularly pick at my fingers and skin until they bleed, and I've probably had more infections than I know about.<br /> One of the worst experiences I've had so far with my habit is when I found out that one of my friends had been cutting and biting at his skin due to depression and stress. It really bothered me, but I felt bad saying anything about it because I didn't want to sound like a hypocrite (sometimes the pain actually feels good to me, though I tend to feel guilty and try to cover it up when they start bleeding). I feel terrible, and I almost started crying when I found this site. I'm not even sure why. </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=63#post-237 Sun, 15 Aug 2010 02:45:41 +0000 haiparu 237@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Hi BooBoo and DJM, </p> <p>BooBoo, I think thumbs are more problematic for me too. I think the cuticles on inner thumbs somehow are more prone to making blips/hangnails that are dry and beg for attention one way or another. I finally started using cuticle remover and push them back gently when I notice the cuticles are infringing on good thumb territory, if it helps any. It does help mine, as I follow this (wash it all off well and don't leave remover on very long, a minute or less seems to work fine) w a good dousing of cream or moisturizer. In my mind, I associate thumbs w worrying (like kids who suck their thumbs.) It's an association from Traditional Chinese Medicine and Jin Shin Jyutsu (like acupressure.) Sometimes, one can just gently hold the thumb -- and the other fingers as well -- for a minute or two, to help quell worries and other tough emotions. In the long haul, a possible solution is to find out what causes worrying and get at the cause. (I have had to do this repeatedly to stop picking.)</p> <p>Rough edges, good description, DJM. (from other post.) Wanted to post here, even tho I don't seem to go for my toes. But I know a person who does "surgery" on a big toe, where the nail is re-injured weekly by serious tennis playing. We call it their "tennis toe." It may bleed, turn black and 'fall off' w a little help and clipping. The toe gets almost naked, then a figment of a nail grows back, gets re-injured, etc. It's not quite the same, but it shows how what we are doing is only a few notches away from what "non pickers" do sometimes. Another friend hides her heels in summer, can't stop pulling skin off them. Sometimes to the point of hobbling around the next day, even. It's better in winter when she has to wear shoes (protects heels from her 'hobby.') Neither of these people consider themselves afflicted or pickers. It's not up to me to say if they are, but can see there are intermediate behaviors.</p> <p>Thanks for your post that mentions shea butter too. Hadn't thought of trying it but it's very nice. My dh (dear husband) uses it straight, on his African drum skin heads to keep them supple. : )</p> <p>I had hard time reading "Skin Deep" on screen too, so ended up ordering a used copy from powellsbooks.com. However, while waiting, used the Stickies on my Mac while reading, to take long notes and do exercises (later printed out when book arrived.) Discovered what everyone probably already knew, that on screen books are easily searched for topics, words, etc. which can be very handy, while hard copy books only have whatever index or table of contents the author provides... I'm like you, find it helpful to be able to write on things.</p> <p>Best of luck! </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=61#post-236 Fri, 13 Aug 2010 16:23:07 +0000 djackm 236@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Shea butter is amazing. I love everything about it. I have not been reading, but intend to print it out in a few days, which will make it a little easier for me to commit to reading it; plus I'll be able to write on the printed copy, which is another positive. I'll let you know how the exercises are going once I get started on them. I have been working on keeping my hands and feet moisturized, which seems to relieve some of the anxiety I feel about 'rough edges,' as I have termed them.</p> <p>DJM </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=63#post-235 Fri, 13 Aug 2010 16:18:54 +0000 djackm 235@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>yeah, my little toe nails will probably never look 'normal'...I also do the skin on my big toes....now here's something, on the subject of feet: I don't know what this area is technically called, but on both feet the place where the little toe ends &#38; starts to curve is pretty horrible. I have created a humongous callous and actually peel from the callous to the top of the foot, which is like forbidden area, because it's clearly visible and very tender skin, because it's just a thin layer. It's pretty embarrassing when people ask about that one, because I just say, "Yeah, probably from my shoes..." But all I wear is flip flops, so that's a pretty blatant lie.</p> <p>DJM </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=63#post-234 Thu, 12 Aug 2010 05:02:44 +0000 booboo64 234@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Hello Fellow Pickers,</p> <p>I am 53 &#38; have picked on &#38; off since I was 13. It has progressively gotten worse in the last 15 yrs. What I pick most is the skin on the side of my thumb nails (closest to the index fingers). They are sooo calloused.</p> <p>Also since a teenager, when picking "dried up" on my fingers, I started picking my little toenails off. There used to be lots of bleeding &#38; pain &#38; I would hobble around the next day. Even got blood poisoning one time from picking &#38; had to go to the doctor. I've done this so much that now I really don't have normal little toenails but have a tough layer of skin there &#38; it kinda just peels off pretty easy when I start picking it. With picking anything, there seems to be a feeling of accomplishment when I get the piece I'm after.</p> <p>I was wondering if anyone else does this? I hate to say it but I hope so. LOL! Just kidding. I don't want to be the only one in the world that does this. Also, I pick the skin on the side of my big toes &#38; they are very calloused also. Have to use the ped-egg pretty regular to try to file the callouses down. </p> <p>This seems so strange to be telling people that I do this but when we share things that we feel shame from, it takes power away from the shame &#38; lessens it. Thanks to everyone for sharing &#38; please let me know if anyone does the "little piggy" picking? &lt;say that 3 times fast&gt; LOL! </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=61#post-233 Wed, 11 Aug 2010 20:43:18 +0000 haiparu 233@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Hi D,</p> <p>Glad you're checking this out and finding it useful. Talk about a great post, yours takes the cake! btw, after I read Grossbart's bk. and completed most of the exercises -- and discovered I'd quit picking for several weeks in the process -- I emailed him a little thank you note. He wrote back within hours, how encouraging!</p> <p>How are you doing now? Any luck w the exercises? I'm still doing fine (4+ months, not even perseverating about it all the time anymore. just sometimes.) : ) Found luscious body cream that works well on cuticles and even seems to make hands look better than before (hey, I'm 62 and it doesn't hurt to have a little help here.) It's from Body and Bath, lotion or body butter (butter is richer) containing no drying alcohols and features African shea butter plus "cashmere!" I think that just means lanolin, but it says Mongolian "hydrolyzed wool." Smells like fresh butter cream frosting... </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=59#post-232 Tue, 03 Aug 2010 00:54:09 +0000 djackm 232@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Hey Paul,</p> <p>I can relate to a lot of what you're feeling, and @ one point, I had to check &#38; make sure that I was reading someone else's post and not my own. I said to myself, "Wait, did I write this? I feel like I wrote that same sentence...Nope, 'Paul;'maybe I've just read this post before." Thanks for your post. Every post makes me feel a little less alone in my unfortunate situation with my fingers.</p> <p>DJM </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=60#post-231 Tue, 03 Aug 2010 00:51:08 +0000 djackm 231@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>By the way, try not to be so hard on yourself: the subject says "disgusted." Don't feel that way; bad habits are just hard to break!</p> <p>:) </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=60#post-230 Tue, 03 Aug 2010 00:50:08 +0000 djackm 230@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Though I can't necessarily offer any suggestions, because I'm searching for those myself, I can offer my support and empathy. Your story is all too familiar. Your family can't provide you the empathy that you might experience at this forum, because, though they love you, they are unable to understand how you can "pick until you bleed." I, however, completely understand that ...&#38; so do you, so thank you ALL for being there for me, as well. This forum is so deeply appreciated.</p> <p>Best of luck to you!</p> <p>DJM </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=62#post-229 Tue, 03 Aug 2010 00:46:00 +0000 djackm 229@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Greetings all,</p> <p>I am looking forward to graduating from college in May &#38; I think that my boyfriend intends to propose to me...Life is great, but, unfortunately, my fingers &#38; toes aren't doing so well. I have had a problem with picking for as long as I can remember. I feel great anxiety about the appearance of my nails, the soreness caused by the constant peeling away of the layers, and, of course the embarrassment-wondering who notices. Doing my best to lead a "normal" life, trying (daily) to commit to quitting.</p> <p>Appreciate the FF community; this forum always reminds me that I'm not alone &#38; that, through continuing to support one another, we will all find our own personal "cures."</p> <p>DJM </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=61#post-228 Tue, 03 Aug 2010 00:40:39 +0000 djackm 228@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>I visited the first site that you suggested and am in the process of reading the ebook available on that site. Dr. Grossbart seems to have a good idea of what's really going on. We all experience the symptoms of what we are truly suffering from. Unfortunately, we feel pain and suffering in the symptoms, as well. I like that he seems to understand that medication is among the treatment options, not the sole treatment option. Personally, I am not interested in being prescribed anything that I will be required to take on a daily basis to heal something that is, essentially, the physical manifestation of a cause that initiated in our minds. </p> <p>Great post. Thanks.<br /> D </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=61#post-227 Thu, 22 Jul 2010 21:31:34 +0000 haiparu 227@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Thank you both for posting here. I wanted to reply sooner but get embarrassed at seeing my sign-in ID over and over, and it wipes out the name of whoever starts the threads. </p> <p>I'm starting to think that while we all share this distressing symptom of finger picking, we also may need varying approaches to get some kind of improvement. Will post a link to a free downloadable book, and another link w its author's blog notes (on Psychology Today site) as this book got me focused and seeing results to stop picking. It offers many approaches, something may click for you.</p> <p>I've got enormous help right here, reading everyone's posts, getting ideas and feeling the invisible support we can all offer each other. I'm in my 3rd month w all ten piggies intact and still need to pay attention and make myself moisturize cuticles daily so they don't become too "interesting." Looking forward to hearing more here. Hope something below will help. Please keep posting here so we'll know how you're doing. When I read your posts and stories, I felt like I wrote them too. So familiar. Write more. : )</p> <p>Link to learn about "Skin Deep" book, take quiz if you want and get free download of 250 page book:</p> <p><a href="http://www.grossbart.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.grossbart.com/</a></p> <p>here's a link to his blog page (Dr. Grossbart wrote "Skin Deep") with brief articles that parallel book's topics:</p> <p><a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/skin-deep" rel="nofollow">http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/skin-deep</a></p> <p>here's a sample from his blog -- this one addresses picking and more. Scroll down above link (Psychol. Today) to find it online. Unfortunately, he feels medications and therapy are often needed -- I got great results just using a guided imagery CD (could be like self hypnosis?) and doing the exercises in his book. Was already in therapy before which probably helped too, but it didn't address picking at all. On the plus side, since some people posting here are on medications, maybe the other suggestions will be just what's needed in addition to that, to get to the heart of picking and how to stop? </p> <p>A Hidden Epidemic</p> <p>Everyone pulls off the odd bit of skin or squeezes a random pimple. But for some people the squeezing, scratching, or picking becomes an absolutely monstrous compulsive behavior that threatens to take over their lives. Concealing what they are doing and its impact, can trigger desperate attempts at camouflage and the avoidance of activities and relationships. Read More </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=60#post-226 Mon, 19 Jul 2010 21:20:21 +0000 JP 226@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>On a whim this afternoon, I did some surfing on the net and found this site. Dear GOD - I thought that I was the only one with this problem! My husband and son are constantly dogging me to stop self-mutilating, but I can't help it. I've used gloves, moisturizers, oils, tape and anything else I can find to help myself stop, but I CAN'T.....no matter how hard I try, I'll stop for a few days, but then go right back to digging, pulling and tearing away at myself. I literally pick until I bleed. I know I have the OCD thing going on and feel totally out of control right now......have even been on medication for the past 15 years for anxiety and anorexia. i'm even picking as I type out!!!!!!!!!!!</p> <p>I need help - BIG TIME - can anyone out there give me some ideas on how they're dealing with this? </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=59#post-225 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 02:34:37 +0000 pdwhelan 225@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Hi everyone</p> <p>I can't remember what age I started to pick but I know it was when I had braces fitted to my teeth (between the ages of 12-15). I became a little obsessed with picking my fingers skin with the sharp metal of the braces, after having the braces removed I reverted to using my nails instead and then started to bite aswell. I'm now 25, so its been well over 10 years of picking. I often tell my self to stop, then 10 seconds later i'm finding myself either biting or picking with another finger. </p> <p>Last year I did 2 weeks maybe longer without picking (didn't completely stop but did really well) I felt great at the time.</p> <p>I pick my fingers at work, when I watch TV, when I talk to people, so pretty much all of the time. As I type this I am not actually picking but have been really tempted to. I know if I was typing on another forum about something different then I would probably pick my fingers.</p> <p>I really need to stop and I want some serious help. Would going to see my doctor be helpful?. I am pretty ashamed of my fingers and I hate people seing them in the state they are in. I try and make sure people can't see them and if I have to point at anything that means people seeing my finger I will point using the best looking finger (usualy my little finger)</p> <p>Hope someone can help.</p> <p>Thanks</p> <p>Paul </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=56#post-224 Wed, 07 Jul 2010 03:41:33 +0000 haiparu 224@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Happy Day # 1, Laura! </p> <p>It's fantastic having people here who totally get whatever we are going through, because they went through it too. While I can see how you'd be discouraged about yourself, after all the work and success you've experienced dealing with stressors, I'd like to say something kinda technical, fwiw. And I was just reminded of it about 4 days ago -- right after I wrote that earlier note --when I caught myself pulling off a minor "hangnail" blip on my thumb while not paying attention, watching TV. From my old days studying behaviorism, I learned that when a behavior is being extinguished, the frequency and intensity of it diminishes gradually until it goes down almost to zero. However, at least in behavioral terms, it does not ever get to 100% zero, there's always a chance it might occur sometime. So, the longer we go between picking, and the less severe damage that occurs, the more highly successful our program (if you call it that) becomes. The occasional set back could be expected, in fact. I forgot all about this stuff over the years, until it demonstrated itself right on my thumb last week... So I smoothed it out and resumed using lotion on dry or rough spots -- I had decided I didn't need lotion anymore. not. </p> <p>I think this is what we have to do, Laura. Resume stopping as soon as we can, after the stopping stops. : ) </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=56#post-223 Tue, 06 Jul 2010 22:16:05 +0000 Laura_B 223@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Thanks for commenting Haiparu! Its so nice to have someone know exactly what I'm talking about! </p> <p>It sounds like you had a similar issue when you first stopped picking. I found it so incredibly frustrating because I really felt I had mastered the nervousness and anxiety that caused me to pick in the first place - I started again at these scabs completely out of impulse. Now that I know this stage goes away eventually, it means I just have to tough it out and leave it alone until it can heal itself.</p> <p>Thanks again Haiparu! I've been pretty down on myself for starting again, but reading this post reminded me of how awesome I felt when I stopped picking. I'm ready to try again. Today is Day #1! </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=56#post-222 Fri, 02 Jul 2010 01:59:30 +0000 haiparu 222@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Hi Laura,</p> <p>Thanks for this post. You have proven to yourself that you can stop picking, because you did it for at least 2 weeks. Very nice! That was a week ago -- what's going on now?</p> <p>&gt;&gt;&gt; Stopped picking, doing well for a few weeks, then having weird, scaly, ugly, flaking skin forming on your fingers? If so, how did you get over it? Does this stage go away if you just keep using lotion? I’m really worried that I’ve ruined my fingers forever</p> <p>In fact something a lot like this did happen to me in the last 3 weeks before I quit (again.) Now I'm into 12th wk. without re-picking. The flaking you describe was more like a small field of tiny scabs across a calloused area. (Rt. mid finger as usual.) I vowed to leave it alone but ended up digging a deep hole, maybe the deepest ever, amid those poor mini scabs. The gouge convinced me I must stop picking, and it took 3 whole weeks before it healed (scabbed, stayed, finally sloughed off naturally!) By then I realized I hadn't picked any of the other 9 fingers for several weeks. So it dawned on me, if one or more fingers could remain intact, possibly all 10 might make it. And I began using guided visualization (CD) to reduce and eliminate each and every stressor. Hope something like this will happen for you, too, Laura.</p> <p>Btw, since you ask people here, everything looks "normal" now and did very quickly once I quit stabbing at them. Even the callous that remains is almost invisible so I have to remember not to rub or feel it and maybe it'll keep disappearing? Funny side effect of reducing # of stressors: other areas of life are becoming more live-able and laid back. I don't worry so much about household clutter, just move some around when I get the chance or I'm passing by. Even my husband noticed, likes it (?!) and started doing a few more dishes and cleaning around the cat food area. gee. </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=58#post-221 Tue, 29 Jun 2010 05:03:06 +0000 haiparu 221@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Hi daly. Thanks for the link. I tried to read up too, but found it makes me miserable to read about such pathologies. I am not convinced of the "science" behind OCD nor "spectrum," although I can see that anxiety plays a role. I'm glad to learn that meds and therapy are helping you and others. </p> <p>Fwiw, currently I'm going w idea that it's more a thought disorder, could call it a cognitive disorder or disturbance or disruption. The reason I'm looking at it this way is that, even tho I didn't "believe in" cognitive behavior therapy, I'm finding it very helpful to use relaxation and a CD w guided visualization, to take on each disturbing thought, emotion, situation, as it comes along and makes me want to pick my fingers again. Even tho I still have big doubts and fears of it not really working, I'm in week 12 without picking. Still approximate picking sometimes, catch myself fingering a rough spot, and even caught myself leaving a tooth mark on favorite picking finger -- the mild callous saved the finger and me. : )</p> <p>I used to be a behaviorist, worked w self-injurious kids (yep, ironic) and alcoholics. Converted to Humanistic psych, and now transpersonal for many years. I try to hold a large view but finger picking is a difficult symptom to alleviate, as we have all discovered many times. I like to think eventually something will help, and that something could very likely be quite individual for each person. Just imo. </p> <p>Hope to hear more about your findings and how you are feeling/doing. And what others are up to, too. </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=58#post-220 Fri, 25 Jun 2010 07:28:45 +0000 daly 220@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>I did a bit of research and found this article:<br /> <a href="http://www.ocdla.com/blog/dsm-changes-ocd-anxiety-624" rel="nofollow">http://www.ocdla.com/blog/dsm-changes-ocd-anxiety-624</a> </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=58#post-219 Fri, 25 Jun 2010 07:13:08 +0000 daly 219@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>I have OCD that is managed quite well with medication, exercise and cognitive techniques. When I was undergoing assessment for OCD, the therapist told me that skin picking is actually "impulse control disorder", not OCD. I notice on the "compulsive finger picking" link on this site that it says "some studies show that more than 50% of people suffering from Compulsive Skin Picking are actually Obsessive-Compulsive".</p> <p>I'm interested in learning more about the overlaps and distinctions between OCD and skin picking. Any insights or reading recommendations? </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=56#post-216 Tue, 22 Jun 2010 22:15:05 +0000 Laura_B 216@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>I’ve made really big strides with my picking in the last few months. I’ve learned that picking and biting helps me relax and cope in stressful and boring situations (big crowds, parties, my extremely boring desk job, etc.) I mangle my fingers to punish myself, and escape into a trance-like state to avoid my very low self-esteem. But recently, I’ve been purposely pushing myself into new and scary social situations to build my confidence and self-worth. I’m finally learning to love myself, and a big part of that is taking pride and care in my physical body – including my hands!</p> <p>Until this morning, I hadn’t picked for two weeks, my longest streak ever! During that time, I seriously felt amazing. That raw, gnawing pain that I had become used to for 20+ years was gone – it was like having a whole new set of hands! The smallest tasks that previously brought so much discomfort and frustration (like doing dishes, weeding the garden, chopping onions) made me so happy once the stinging pain was gone! I felt so proud that I was able to accomplish something, and I really feel this translated into many other aspects of my life. I seriously thought I was cured and I felt so awesome that I couldn’t imagine going back to my old ways.</p> <p>I used so much hand lotion in the last few weeks – I loved how it felt on my hands, I love how it smells, and it felt like I was really pampering and doing something good for myself every time I used it. The only time I was ever tempted to pick was when my hands got dry, so I made extra sure to moisturize at all times.</p> <p>Then this morning, I woke up and my fingers were all scaly, dry, and uneven, with skin actually flaking off by itself. I moisturized and moisturized, but nothing helped all day. My fingers felt so gross and nasty all day that eventually I ripped just a little bit off thumb. Of course, once I started I haven't been able to stop and now all my hard work it ruined on every one of my fingers.</p> <p>So this is my question: did anyone else have this issue? Stopped picking, doing well for a few weeks, then having weird, scaly, ugly, flaking skin forming on your fingers? If so, how did you get over it? Does this stage go away if you just keep using lotion? I’m really worried that I’ve ruined my fingers forever, and even if I stop picking now for the rest of my life they will never heal normally. I'm hoping its just another hurdle to get over on the path of recovery.</p> <p>Thank you for reading all of this. I would really appreciate some discussion!! :) </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=55#post-215 Fri, 11 Jun 2010 23:42:07 +0000 haiparu 215@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Love being called Hai -- you are too creative, Bubbie. Scroll to top of the page and see "Contact" at far right of green tabs and click to get a blank message form. Can try writing in to this site, maybe a moderator here can delete it for you?<br /> How's tricks!? I survived a mega vampire attack by an extrovert when I went to an unexpected Social Event last night (neighbor held BBQ to get to meet our neighbors. horrors. But met several cool people and it's better than skulking around. I suppose.) No picking even tho it's taken all day to get back my energy. Who's the sucker now? :)<br /> p.s. will watch and see if the thing gets deleted. If not, we can dream up some other way.</p> <p>Warm regards, and here's a link if the Contact tab won't contact for ya. </p> <p><a href="http://www.fingerfreak.com/contact" rel="nofollow">http://www.fingerfreak.com/contact</a> </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=55#post-214 Fri, 11 Jun 2010 20:35:41 +0000 Bubbles 214@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Hai.. I'm trying to edit/delete. I seen it once, but can't get back to where ever I seen it. Any suggestions?</p> <p>Ahhh... I see the option after i recently posted the current post. There must not be an option to delete posts from days before. What a pain. </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=55#post-213 Wed, 09 Jun 2010 17:20:29 +0000 haiparu 213@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Bubbles, great to hear how well you are doing! Cuticles certainly can be pesky. Excellent description of meditation -- wandering mind and too much noise. : ) I wear ear plugs for that, too -- but have found much more immediate relief from listening to a CD that helps get into a healing state and talks me through a very well composed guided visualization. If you're looking for something like that, there are tons of good ones, many free at libraries. A friend (retired psychologist...) recommended one by Doctors Andrew Weil and Martin Rossman. Rossman's voice is very soothing, Weil just talks about how it works in intro and lets Rossman do the relaxation part. Found it on Weil's web site that links out to Sounds True to buy it. It's the one that helped me eliminate stressors associated w picking, one by one by dozens. sigh. </p> <p>Thanks for thought about cutting back on stress by not visiting this site. Just thought, I could use the CD for that... I plan to keep coming back, because I know it's been a tremendous aid in stopping picking, plus there are lots of ideas that are working for others here. Plus it makes me feel good knowing we're all in this thing together. I need that.</p> <p>Thanks too for offer re: facebook etc. Recently was barely able to get out of facebook -- huge hassle, but it finally worked and they stopped bugging me. Have safely kept your email handy for future reference, many thanks for that. </p> <p>(if you worry about privacy, I believe this site has an Edit function under each post, and possibly the poster can Edit what they wrote. Maybe you could delete your email if you want. But then, I'm the introvert and you get out more, yourself, so you might not mind leaving it there. Fortunately.) : )</p> <p>Meantime, let's stay put and in touch here. And here's a cuticle tip my cousin taught me recently:</p> <p>After soapy shower or bath, cutes are softer. She uses soapy washcloth then, to GENTLY (there's that word again) push back her cutes. Then, if dead skin is revealed on nail bed, she uses soapy cloth to gently rub it off. If there's still dead skin left on nail bed after this shower treatment, she uses a wet washcloth but no soap (slightly more abrasive) to rub it off. I tried this once and it worked well for the one nail (thumb) that had anything to remove. My plan is to not do it again and let cutes remain as is, for 2 or 3 weeks unless I notice they need it again. Funny thing is, before trying to quit picking, I never paid slightest attention to my fingers, nails nor cuticles. Now I see them all the time. </p> <p>toodles, Bubbles. </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=55#post-212 Tue, 08 Jun 2010 23:40:12 +0000 Bubbles 212@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Haiparu. You got an email or facebook acct? I've been doing good. Have not picked once. I say to myself "NO, I won't do it! Not anymore." last two days have been difficult, today has been not too bad. New cuticles are there. It's annoying if they're too wet or too dry. </p> <p>My New ritual yesterday was pinching taunt bands my trap muscles. It felt good at first, then gave me a headache. That wasn't fun. Just have to do without substitutes I guess. Can't think of anything good. Self meditation is hard. It's not quiet enough and my mind wanders to other stuff. </p> <p>I think euthanizing or killing perps is a great idea. It's extreme, but it would solve the problem. Maybe they'd think twice before violating a person, or atleast cut way back *wink* </p> <p>If visiting this site makes u want to pick, don't visit. Email me if you like and keep me posted on how you're doin.</p> <p>toodles! </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=55#post-211 Tue, 08 Jun 2010 18:13:32 +0000 haiparu 211@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>I'm not sure about the lotions and potions, frankly, but they smell nice and my husband seems to like the impression I'm pampering myself. : ) You could maybe try using something you like and just doing it once or twice a day without rubbing. Actually, most of it evaporates quickly, no need to do much rubbing......</p> <p>I like the idea of your new ritual -- have you found one yet? Do tell. I thought of the lotions like that, a substitute behavior. The book that helped me stop suggests devising a simple thing, much like your funny ritual, to induce relaxation when stress hits. He teaches patients/readers to learn deep relaxation. Later, they make up something like doing a quick, light touch to one's forehead to quickly re-visit that state of mind. Maybe we could kiss our elbow instead? :) He's Ted A. Grossbart, has free download of his book called "Skin Deep." </p> <p>I'm still concerned about symptom substitution -- you know, stop picking and start pulling out hairs or getting stomach aches back again, say. So far that hasn't happened, but I have been doing a lot of guided visualization CD work, to let myself feel whatever causes the urge to pick, and then to find some way through to resolution. There are easily over a dozen issues I've had to look at and deal with so far, could be more as we row along.</p> <p>I don't know if this'll help any, but I discovered that putting ear plugs all the way in, waiting a little and then GENTLY pulling them a little bit out again dampens the worst of offensive noises and feels more comfortable than the fully-jammed in feel. Can still hold a conversation and chew gum...</p> <p>I agree, so far nobody's found a "cure" for the most severe mental illnesses nor crimes against children. It'd be nice if society could at least admit this, but it won't. Since abuse is so incredibly wide spread in all cultures, I figure the best I can do is try to speak out when I can. Abusers get their "rights" because they do it in secret and threaten victims and witnesses w very unsavory consequences if the secret were to get out. It's how they get away w all of it, imo. Thanks for thinking of euthanizing them all -- it made me smile even though it's kinda outrageous. : ) Another form of population control? </p> <p>Glad we can "talk" like this. Have wanted to mention that just coming to this discussion/forum site causes me to think of picking again. I hunker down and don't do it, but the topic alone is enough to re-kindle fear and dread. But it's worth it, because I get to read everyone's posts and have learned more than I ever thought I'd know about us all and our habit that we share.</p> <p>Warm regards, Bubbles -- let us know how you are doing today or whenever you can write. Same to everyone, getting it out this way trumps opening up skin to "let things out," imo. </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=55#post-210 Sun, 06 Jun 2010 20:30:51 +0000 Bubbles 210@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Do lotions or oils do that much? I seem to be doing ok without. Trying to keep my hands seperate from eachother is cutting down on my knuckle cracking too. Afraid if i put something on, ill rub a lot and bring attention to it. </p> <p>Ive been joking around about picking up a new "ritual." like turning a door knob three times, then flexing my arm. Or some other bizarre thing.</p> <p>I laughed when you mentioned ear plugs. All stocked up! I like the foam ones, but wearing them hurts after a while.<br /> You would have to pay me a lot of $ to watch a basketball game. Listening to those squeeky shoes would drive me nuts. </p> <p>Abuse probably has a lot to do with these disorders. Pedophiles and sex offenders just need to be "dealt with" (euthanized). Society needs to say sex crimes (especially those against children) absolutely will not be tollerated. This country hasnt learned yet how to deal with these people or the seriously mentally ill. </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=55#post-209 Sun, 06 Jun 2010 04:35:13 +0000 haiparu 209@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Thanks, Bubbles, feels good to be congratulated. I do have callouses, on last hold-out picked (middle) finger and index finger, both on rt. hand. Had not let myself notice them until I stopping picking, so I hadn't worried over them. Now they are only visible to the critical eye, and the "swelling" is minor enough that it, too, is not noticeable without getting, well, picky about it. I think all the lotions and oils may be helping, at least it softens the feel and look of things.</p> <p>Two days of not picking is a good accomplishment. If you're like me, the first bunch of days it was all I could think about. Constantly aware of fingers and straining not to pick, No Matter What. I think it took the OCD aspect and turned it inside out; now I can focus on not picking for a while instead, a dif sort of OCD I guess. </p> <p>I know what you mean, being a mental disorder is a motivator. : ) I wonder abt. common denominators too. I'm not addictive (except for finger picking!) but I do have a thing about over population, since you mention it. I never talk about it, people get awfully upset, even about the notion to just limit ourselves to replacing ourselves. (Zero Population Growth, for instance, makes it sound like zero reproduction, but it isn't, it keeps the pop. steady.) I don't like crowds and wear ear plugs if I go to a baseball game or parade or movie. Can still hear quite well, just makes it bearable. Maybe it would help with the animal noises you mention? </p> <p>I don't think we're crazy, btw. You're already noticing less impulsive behaviors in yourself. I never was that free, always cautious and risk averse. Since I grew up being molested by my step father (ages 6 to 16) I am quite curious whether that may have "caused" this self injurious behavior. And I wonder it there's a disproportionate # of us who fit this category? On the other hand (no pun!) when I did what you are doing, sat down and wrote about the when and why of each urge to pick, that issue did not come up. Maybe the issues originated from that, though, lack of protection and a learned sense of unease and "danger" where it may or may not exist. ? I know it's "psychologizing" to blame our childhoods, but then again, almost everyone who notes when they started picking mentions around age 7 or 8... I was about 7 too, stopped nail biting then and switched to picking like many who are posting here.</p> <p>Sorry if this is TMI, too much info. I figure we may as well take advantage of finding this site and looking for something that will actually work.</p> <p>Hope you're on day 3 by the time you read this one. :) </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=55#post-208 Sun, 06 Jun 2010 01:12:07 +0000 Bubbles 208@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Haiparu... Congrats on 9 weeks! Amazing! Keep up the good work. Do u have scar pads or callouses? If so do they look more normal? </p> <p>Im happy to say ive been pick free for two days. Doing the research educated me. Knowing its a kind of mental disorder makes me really want to fix it. Honestly, what really got to me, is sitting down writing the above post. Realizing the when, where, how often, and why i do this. I imagine a person not having this disorder and how jacked up they mite think i am. </p> <p>Kinda wonder about the common denominators associated with skin picking...like impulse control stuff. I used to be extremely impulsive, but getting better as i get older. Also have an addictive personality, dont know if that relates, but it feels like it mite. As for being an introvert, im not too bad. I get out somewhat. Get nervous in crowds though. Fear of crowding?? I wont fly because all the people on the plane are breathing the same air as me. </p> <p>Made up a new disease we got... Its called "hates disease." Some of mine comes from over population, and morons breeding like rats. Political asshats, etc. I hate animals cause they persistantly make NOISE. (General rule, people who breed them are insane. Far more than we are.)</p> <p>all these things contribute to my picking. I hope i can continue my "no picking" </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=55#post-207 Sat, 05 Jun 2010 17:37:31 +0000 haiparu 207@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Part II. Tomorrow will mark my 9th week without picking. I don't think about it all the time anymore, but do worry I might forget and discover I picked something open again. Did get a professional manicure 2 weeks ago, scared the heck outta me because she didn't speak English and I was fearful about having cuticles "pushed back." And I worried about all the chemicals they use, didn't want to get dried out after weeks of super-moisturizing... I told her, but she mumbled something about hangnails (!!) and carried on. It turned out fine and I've tried to bone up on cuticle care. I'm very excited about this, because it isn't about finger picking for me, it's about ALL the underlying "causes" like fears, anger, worries, that I have been forced to deal with in order to stop picking. so far. Thanks to all who read and write here. Keep writing! : ) </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=55#post-206 Sat, 05 Jun 2010 17:27:08 +0000 haiparu 206@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Glad you found this site and are venting, Bubbles. I've had to brush away crumbs too, for many years, and find restaurants daunting (also watching TV, reading news on computer and on and on.) That "blank stare" you mention is also familiar. Some of us may go into a slightly altered state when picking. I read how to use this "ability" to advantage, to create a healing state (like relaxation or meditation or guided imagery, but if we can "trance out" and pick we can learn to do it w purpose and heal.) </p> <p>It's gotta be way stressful to have to work around animals, not to mention get bitten (unacceptable!) while not liking animals. Hope you can find a way to get out of that place and into any kind of work you might enjoy more. This quote (below) came in today, I get daily morale-building blips. This one made me think of you because I was moved when I read that you hate a lot of people. I'm not too swift on people myself, but I chalk that up to being quite introverted. Anyhow, I grew up without any religious background and am not into any particular one, nor do I have any idea of a traditional "Lord." I believe we have to find our own way, so please take this quote for what it has to offer and throw out the rest. -- </p> <p>&gt;&gt;&gt; It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes.</p> <p>- Psalm 118:8 </p> http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/topic.php?id=55#post-205 Fri, 04 Jun 2010 06:14:16 +0000 Bubbles 205@http://www.fingerfreak.com/forums/ <p>Im 28 yrs old and have been picking my thumbs as young as I can remember. Everywhere I go, I pick. I have thick scar pads on the insides of my thumbs. Its so bad, I drive with my knees so my hands are free to pick. Before I get out of the car I have to brush off a pile of "thumb crumbs." Then brush them off my seat when I get back. There are thumb crumbs all over my gear shift and console. Its god awful. </p> <p>I pick at restaurants while I wait for my food. My boyfriend knows im picking by the blank stare on my face. He thinks its discusting. One of his main concerns is i'll pick over food im preparing at home for dinner. He'd like me to break the habit as much as I would.</p> <p>I have "picking police" at work that yell at me when they catch me doing it. Sometimes when I get caught i'll go around a corner, or a place they cant see me. I feel very annoyed when they interrupt in the middle of a skin rip. </p> <p>Im an angry person. I hate the public, politicians, animals, you name it. I work at a vet clinic and sometimes wonder if its anesthesia waste gas that makes me rage. On top of that, im a knuckle cracker. Im self aware, but dont seem to care. When I get bit by dogs (bad bites that require going to a hospital and getting sutures) I'll pick the scabs off. My arm looks like that of a junkie. It wouldnt if I'd left it alone.</p> <p>I sometimes ask myself if I do this out of self loathing. The answer I come up with is I hate everything else. </p> <p>Feels good to vent and get this out. I've enjoyed reading all your threads. Knowing im not the only one struggling with this will be beneficial to healing. Thanks for reading and good luck with stopping this dreadful habit. </p>