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FingerFreak Forums » FingerFreaks Speak

1. Laura_B
   Member

   Hello all,

   My name is Laura and I live in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. I'm 22 years old, and I've been picking, biting, and eating for as long as I can remember. Over the past few years, it's gotten to the point where I really, really need to stop. The first-digit joint on my fingers always seemed to be a natural barrier and I would usually stop picking once I reached it. But lately I've been going down past the first digit-joint and I'm quickly approaching the second. I've acually reached the joint connecting my hand to my thumb on my right hand. It only used to hurt when I went too deep and drew blood, but now it really hurts all them time below that first-digit joint.

   My biggest issue is that I really seem to ENJOY doing this. It's so incredibly satisfying to pull off a big piece of skin and feel how squishy it is between my top and bottom front teeth. SO GROSS, but I love it! I've stopped for weeks at a time, but when one little thing causes me to start biting again, I ruin all my fingers in one go. I also really like the fresh skin because you can get larger pieces easier and it's incredibly satisfying.

   I have a history of anxiety and depression since childhood, which I manage with exercise and antidepressants, plus vitamin D supplements and light therapy (to combat lack of sunlight in the winter due to being so far north.) I have a wonderful supportive boyfriend of 4 years - who I expect soon will become a fiance. I'd like to have my fingers looking nice so I can show off an egagement ring!

   So my question is this: how do you stop doing something that gives you so much satisfaction? Has anyone found a really successful replacement for biting?

   Posted 11 months ago #

2. bilbo
   Member

   LOL - that is disgusting, but I share your love of it. Seems its only disgusting when you look at it objectively - or when you hear someone else describe their pickings.

   Your Satisfaction = release from anxiety and mood issues. I bet you'd be able to substitute "picking" satisfaction for other things to satisfy you, once you deal with your core psyche issues. Not that I am one to preach...

   Keep keepin!

   Posted 11 months ago #

3. djackm
   Member

   I thought I was alone until I found this site. Maybe through supporting each other we can find...whatever it is that we need to stop this. I haven't reached the second digit joint, but i'm headed there. Does anyone else attack the toes too?

   Posted 11 months ago #

4. djackm
   Member

   
   

   Posted 11 months ago #

5. Laura_B
   Member

   I used to attack my toes when I was younger too, but I managed to stop at a relatively early age. I just made sure to always attack my fingers instead (not the best advice, but I did transfer the picking I guess.)

   I haven't done it for years now, but it's something that I know I will not be able to stop if I start. I'm always sure to wear socks in the house and not even look at the bottoms of my feet to resist the temptation.

   I definitely feel for those toe pickers out there. I remember how much it hurt. If my toes ever got as bad as my fingers do on a bad day, I don't think I'd be able to walk.

   Posted 10 months ago #

6. doodlebug
   Member

   Though we "enjoy" different aspects of picking, I get "enjoyment" too. ---I enjoy that aspect of "peeling" more than anything, and I don't like it fresh, but more like when it's trying to heal, and it gets like a thin dryer layer and can come off easily like dried elmers glue. The problem is searching for that feeling makes me pick at healthier pieces. Good GAWD, this is gross when I actually write this down and describe it. Nutty! Anyway, it's that peeling that,for me, gives the pleasure. God forbid I ever get a sunburn and then later it peels. I can peel for hours. Ridiculous.

   I have been lately able to conquer picking so much by replacing it with other habits (smoothing on lotion, clipping off dry dead skin, putting on neosporin, rubbing in cuticle cream, buffing rough edges of nails) I do this as much as I used to pick and I find that I "need" to feel the smoothness and so rubbing the lotion over my nail bed helps, but still....I don't know why I need to feel that. I am an anxious person, so maybe the "smoothness" offers a backwards way to feel "calm".

   I have always said "relief" is the most amazing emotion to have. Like when you are worried about something and then you find out it's all okay. That moment of "relief" where you can take a breath and know it's all okay...that is my favorite emotion. The problem with that is that in order to feel the "relief" there has to some sort of pain preceding it, so...that's no good. But somehow, and I'm not sure how, the picking aspect feels related to that...for me. Not sure if that really helps you much, I guess I am just sharing more than I am helping solve.

   Posted 6 months ago #

7. Tess
   Member

   I can relate. The pain is exquisite and the relief when I stop is exhilarating.Nuts,but true!I get a lot of pleaure 'worrying' the healing nailbed and rubbing the sensitive nerve endings. Helps alot really.

   Posted 5 months ago #

8. sarah0703
   Member

   It's weird listening to other people describe it, it sounds so disgusting, and then I think wait, that's me! I really didn't realise how common this was though until last night when I decided to reasearch it. I've done it since I was 5 and I'm now 20. I managed to stop when I was 15 and it lasted a couple of years, but I've no idea how because I can't stop now I've started again. It's not just a stress thing, I do it a lot. As soon as I see a rough bit of skin or a hang nail I have to pick it off, and then I'll go searching for more. Don't even realise I'm doing it and then I'll look at the clock and see I've been doing it for 45mins or so. I can go for a week or so without doing it though. I find I mainly do it when I'm alone, so I guess trying to spend free time with other people helps. Also hand cream to keep the skin soft.
   Another thing is too keep your nails short, my nails are strong so when they're long it's really easy to pick!

   Posted 5 months ago #

9. jacquio
   Member

   That's good advice, Sarah. Spending your free time with other ppl sounds good to take your mind off things. Because I do it when I'm alone or when I don't think other ppl can see - like under the table, or if they're on the other side of the room.
   I don't think anything that anyone has described is 'gross' or 'disgusting', because I can relate to it so perfectly. I tell myself it may be about stress, but it's not as simple as that. i just am addicted to the picking and biting and peeling.
   It feels good (at the time, until it starts hurting) and is immensely relieving. After a session. Scarily similar to self-harm sessions. Just the same: You know when you've had enough and when the session is over. Then it's time to heal. Wash the blood away, put the bandaids on and deal with the inevitable pain that comes with the 'picking session'. It's deeply psychological, but whenever I feel or see a loose piece of skin, however small and large - it's like I can't concentrate on anything else until I've picked and peeled all that is physically possible. It's like, as long as their is stray skin, my fingers are not safe.
   God I hate it, but I simply can't stop.
   I feel so much better though, knowing this site exists. I agree that will help me at least a little. Knowing there are all of you out there xxx

   Posted 5 months ago #

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