I think that sometimes the best way to deal with a problem is to simply tell your overall issue. I have kind of been doing so all over the place - sometimes the way to start healing is to just vent it all out. :)
FingerFreak Forums » FingerFreaks Speak
Tell Your Tale Here
(7 posts)-
Posted 7 months ago #
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ok, here goes.
i have been picking for as long as i can remember (im 36 now). i used to bite my nails too, but gave that up easily. i also smoked cigarettes for ten years (pack a day), but quit 10 years ago (cold turkey) and have not had a single puff.
but picking is a different habit i guess. the only times i pick my fingers is when they are damaged, or the skin is really dry/cracked. when the skin on a particular finger is not dry or cracked, there is nothing to pick, so i tend to do it less. but most of the time my skin is cracked/dry and picking ensues.
another thing i find that adds to the problem is that i often wear rubber gloves at work. after having them on for hours at a time, when the gloves come off, my hands/fingers look like they have been soaking in a tub for hours (grandma hands). after they dry out, all my cuticles and the skin surrounding my nails on all sides is practically peeling off on its own.
my father, brother and sister all pick their fingers and have their whole lives.
so my question is, is the picking due to OCD, and my whole family 'crazy', or do we just happen to have a genetic disposition to have dry/cracked skin around our fingers, and we pick it due to a primal urge - like apes who groom each other and themselves. although i have never picked my brother's, sister's of father's skin, only my own!
i honestly dont mind the picking, its 2nd nature, and aside from the mess it leaves behind, seems harmless to me. the problem is that it drives my wife bonkers, and that is why i really would like to stop.Posted 6 months ago # -
I wish more than anything that I could stop this horrible habit. I would love to have long beautiful nails but instead my fingers always look like they have been stuck in a blender.
I mainly pick at the actual fingernails. I have picked my right thumb so much that the nail bed is ruined, and the nail grows awkardly. I cannot locate what triggers this desire. I do it when I'm upset, when I'm bored, when I'm fine. The only time I don't do it is when I'm asleep. I'm so tired of this habit. It's nice to know there is finally a site that doesn't only focus on people that bite their nails since I don't even put mine near my mouth.Posted 6 months ago # -
I don't remember when I first started picking at my fingers, but it's a problem that my mother also has. When I was little, I used to try to bargain with her that I would stop sucking my thumb if she would stop picking at her fingers! Now I feel really stupid because I do it, too, possibly even more than she does. I'm in high school now, and I'm figuring that it's probably stress-related, because my fingers are noticeably better during summer break (though this year I was still so stressed out from school during the first few weeks of summer that my fingers were a mess until mid-July). Anyway, school is starting up again soon, and so is my habit. Not only am I picking at my fingers, I'm also picking at the skin on my face and arms, which are covered in bumps I can't seem to get rid of from dry skin.
One of my friends really wants me to stop picking at my fingers and bothers me about it a lot, but she doesn't seem to understand that it's not something I want to do. I regularly pick at my fingers and skin until they bleed, and I've probably had more infections than I know about.
One of the worst experiences I've had so far with my habit is when I found out that one of my friends had been cutting and biting at his skin due to depression and stress. It really bothered me, but I felt bad saying anything about it because I didn't want to sound like a hypocrite (sometimes the pain actually feels good to me, though I tend to feel guilty and try to cover it up when they start bleeding). I feel terrible, and I almost started crying when I found this site. I'm not even sure why.Posted 2 weeks ago # -
Great post idea. I've been picking for about 10 years; I'll be turning 20 in December. I'm a college senior & I tend to pick more when I'm stressed, bored, anxious, or thinking deeply. First days of the semester are heavy picking days, because of all the excitement. It's most unfortunate that the times when I want my hands to look the best (i.e. when meeting, and, therefore, shaking hands with new professors/classmates) is when I pick the most and, consequently, they look the worst. I say 'pick,' though that's a bit of a euphemism. By that I mean, bite, peel, tear, and gnaw...Pretty uncomfortable, sometimes painful, always embarrassing.
I think that my boyfriend intends to propose to me next weekend...I'm excited & I'm anxious for my fingers to heal so that, when the time comes (even if it's not next weekend), I can proudly show off my engagement ring...but excitement and anxiety are exactly the right ingredients to make me want to pick...Honestly, I'm a bit discouraged about this situation today. Optimism will return! Always nice to read everyone's posts. Off to class!
D
Posted 2 weeks ago # -
Dear OMJ and D,
>>> found out that one of my friends had been cutting and biting at his skin due to depression and stress. It really bothered me, but I felt bad saying anything about it because I didn't want to sound like a hypocrite (sometimes the pain actually feels good to me, though I tend to feel guilty and try to cover it up when they start bleeding). I feel terrible, and I almost started crying when I found this site. I'm not even sure why.
Thanks for posting. I almost cried several times, too -- finding and reading and posting to this site. Do you think your friend might find it comforting to know they have a friend like you, who really understands what they are going through?
Posted my story earlier, but can update. I'm 62 and didn't stop picking fingers until 4+ months ago, after a lifetime of not being able to quit for more than a day or two. At about the same time I found this site - which event was very emotional and moving - I found a free downloadable book that provided just what I needed to quit. At least so far, and I can always go back and do more from the book if I need to. It's called "Skin Deep," by Dr. Ted A. Grossbart. He also has a blog on the Psychology Today web site.
I found ideas here, including about moisturizers. I had to pay total attention to Not picking for several days, while also noting each stressor that was going on when I felt the urge to pick. Btw, for people who pick when bored, the same method could work, to become aware and handle boredom instead of picking? I used some writing exercises from the book, and a relaxation/healing CD to go thru each troubling situation that was affecting me. Now I catch myself rubbing and looking for something to pick, and can stop before damage is done.
Another help used to be soaking fingers in water (or green tea when no one was looking! Could slip a thumb over the cup rim and get a good soaking...) It softened the edges of picked areas and seemed soothing. I feel this could help before getting that engagement ring, too, D.
: ) Because soaking can change how things look, even if it's just temporary till skin grows back nicely.Good luck as school starts up -- you'll have lots to keep you busy, that's for sure.
Posted 2 weeks ago # -
the earliest recollection i have of picking is kindergarten, i'm 25 now. i remember as a kid having to tell teachers i had a "paper cut" that was bleeding and had to go to the nurse for bandaids and they would look at my fingers clearly recognizing they weren't paper cuts. i used to be alot worse as a kid. i bit my finger nails, the skin around them to a pulp, and all the fingers too. when i got to be about 17 i was able to actually stop biting my nails, however as a result, the skin around my fingers took the blunt of what the nails didn't so i would have and still have to this day, beautiful nails, but the skin around them is awful. when i was 19 i got veneers put on my front teeth to make them whiter etc. well having them you can't BITE because you can snap one off. so, i resorted to picking entirely. then i decided in college to become a nurse. well in nursing you can't have visible open skin so instead of picking the sides, i would pick the back of my fingers like where my thumb print is so no one could see it. at this point, i am currently "down to" my thumbs and forefingers mostly with occasionally middle fingers as well. as weird as it sounds, i also enjoy scab picking, zit popping and picking calluses on my feet. i also pick my lip as well. i have been diagnosed with OCD in the past, however my thoughts were the priority of my therapists so the fingers have taken a backseat. i have tried everything. gloves, liquid bandage, avoidance, you name it i have tried it. my husband hates it. my parents would see it as a kid but didn't ever say outloud hey that looks like it hurts whats going on? i want to have kids in the next few years and i DONT want them to develop this habit. its awful, i hate it but i can't not pick. its like engrained in me now. and when i don't do it i feel like my skin is crawling and i'm ready to scream. i am on medicine and like i said, i've come a long way but i just can't seem to shake it. out of my family members, my mom and sister are both avid nail biters, now my sister tells me that since she's trying to stop biting her nails, now she's picking. i don't know. if i let my fingers heal, the skin gets dry and flakes and its like a temptation and then i start all over again. it never ends.
Posted 5 days ago #
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FingerFreak.com is a community site dedicated to helping people afflicted by compulsive finger picking and other related disorders