Nagging Doesn’t Help Compulsive Pickers
As any hen-pecked husband can attest to — nagging is one of the most unpleasant behavior traits a person can have. Nagging can itself turn into an obsessive-compulsive behavior that needs modifying of its own!
What to do if you’re nagged about your picking
If your parent or spouse nags you about your compulsive picking disorder, they aren’t treating the problem as seriously as they should. Understand that they probably think of it as simply a bad habit, not a true disorder.
The best thing you can do is communicate to your parent or partner that you have a real problem — but to do that you have to realize it yourself and own up to it.
Seeing a mental health professional for diagnosis of an impulse control or anxiety disorder — or an even more serious problem — is a good first step. The issue of a parent or partner’s nagging behavior can be raised in the company of a therapist — who is a neutral third party. A therapist can provide an objective opinion on how to remove nagging from your relationship. After that, seek out psychological treatments for the underlying disorder.
What to do if you nagged someone else about their picking
Its intuitively obvious to most people — even naggers — that nagging doesn’t help a relationship. But its very hard to refrain from nagging your child or spouse/partner to stop picking when you see it happening. Just know that nagging will not solve anything, and will probably worsen things.
Keep the following things in mind if you catch yourself nagging your beloved little finger picker:
- Nagging is disrespectful
- Nagging creates resentment
- Nagging can make your spouse or child feel inadequate — which will only increase their shame and guilt from picking
- Nagging makes your spouse defensive
- Nagging puts you in the parent role — which isn’t a healthy dynamic if its your spouse you’re nagging
Follow the same recipe as you would if you were in the nag-ees shoes:
I really wish I had seen this article a few years ago. One of my best friends decided to “help” me quit biting my fingers through nagging. She smacked my hand away from my mouth, yelled at me, and embarrased me constantly. I know she had good intentions, deep down, but it made the situation so much worse. I resented her for it and becae even more stressed, causing my finger and nail biting to actually get worse!